You guys know by my good Easter weekend I felt good. I honestly didnt know what to expect and based on all the bad things you hear it was hard not to expect that to happen to me. Ive tried to stay away from google and just pretty much searching anything about it cuz its scary, cuz of course all the bad stuff immediately pops up so I figure ill take it one day at a time on my own and make a note of how I feel and go through it however my own body decides to go through it. I think it handled it well I didnt puke which I take as a good sign and I didnt lose my appetite(so far).
There was one thing I googled a couple days after and that was what should you do to prepare for chemo, which of course maybe I should have done that before, lol especially after I read the part that you should visit the DENTIST!!! Ay ay ay,too late for that, lol I guess one common thing that happens after chemo when your good and bad cells start to die is that the good cells that help your mouth and teeth can cause you discomfort and if you had anything going on with your teeth, well, you better pray a little extra they hold out, because you cant have any work done to your mouth while going through chemo because you have to stay away from anything that could cause you any type of infection. So wish my teeth luck :)
Other little things that I should be expecting, is some memory loss, which for those who know me im already spacey and my memory sometimes sucks any ways, so who knows how thats gonna be for me. With the meds and Chemo not knowing how to distinguish good cells from bad cells, like I mentioned before ill have days where my immune system shuts down and im vulnerable to getting sick, so I have days where i have to stay away from people, i have to avoid public spaces.
But you know crazy me, I have my random moments where it makes me feel good to escape to Vons, lol Crazy how little things you are use to doing on a regular basis are taken for granted. Who would of thought it was exciting to go to Vons, well, for me it is. I have to wait to go late at night though, the store is clean, theres not a lot of people and im free to take my time. Its funny cuz if you stop to think about it you wonder, is there anyone else in this store going through something similar? Is the person who just quietly passed you by using this trip as moment to get away from something big going on in their life? Theres a lot going on everywhere with everyone and I dont think any problem or illness is better or worse or more or less important, i think if it hurts you or your family its equally important, and you should find someone to talk to. Its hard to share and go through things but I can only imagine its harder to go through things alone, and I dont think anyone should have to go through anything alone.
I made a comment about this before, and I want to say it one more time, please dont feel like im doing this for any attention what so ever, if you know me im not that type of person, and I have a great support system in my family and friends like those of you reading this. I do this just to hopefully reach anyone out there going through anything to hopefully see that even with the scariest things being thrown our way, we need to try a little extra harder to find the positive so it doesnt have to be that scary....
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